Positivity!… After another week of homeschooling last Friday, I felt like a deflated Eeyore! All my positivity & enthusiasm had been drained out of me trying to motivate my girls. It felt like every way I tried to make things fun was resisted and every bit of help I gave was met with “I can’t…” or “I don’t want to…” Then the snow fell on Sunday and that change of scene, something new to do and the beauty of all the white lifted us all! I’d been for a run with my dog and made a snowman with my girls all before 9am!
2020 and now the start of 2021 can be looked at as a very negative, unlucky, sad and crazy time. When it got towards the end of last year, I had in my head that 2021 was going to be totally different, almost as if on 1st January, some kind of magic fairy dust would transform everything back to pre-covid times. When I realised I was unconsciously thinking that, the reality and negatives of 2021 seeped in so I felt doom and gloom. Then I read and wrote a few things to help…
It can be instinctive to be negative and think ‘typical’ if something goes wrong. Like when I catch my clothes on a door handle when I’m stressed, or when I dropped a glass jar of honey all over the floor when in a rush (this one was I had no idea where to start!).
But why is it typical? Why not think of all the things that have gone well that day instead?
Our brain works to prove our beliefs right, which is called confirmation bias. An example is if your partner annoys you and you’re in a bad mood, you may start thinking they’re going to annoy you all day… your brain then searches to prove or confirm that belief. If you change to thinking positively – then happier beliefs are reinforced. So thinking how sweet your partner is, your brain will look for evidence to confirm that belief instead.
Being positive by exercising, showing gratitude, being kind, meditation, etc., can rewire your brain and then you’re more likely to be happy and healthier. The mistake is thinking that:
“I’ll be happy when…” so:
“I’ll be happy when my leg is better / when I get that promotion / when I can see my friends”
“IF…. then I’ll be happy” so:
“If I move house / lose weight / go on holiday, then I’ll be happy”
But what about seeing what you are and can be happy about now, today? When we are positive, our creativity, energy and learning all increase, and we’re then more successful, happy & healthy.
So this week I’m trying to be more Unicorn than Eeyore!