‘Welcome to the new edition of this Guest Blog I am a full-time working mum of 2 boys and a published novelist of ‘The Ninth Cross’ by my pen name J. Karst.

I get involved in trying that little bit I can in saving the environment for the future generations.’

            I was asked to look after the next-door tomcat during Christmas.

With pleasure I accepted the chore with excitement of many fluffy kitty cuddles.

I was however basing it on how much my canine loves her closeness which was completely the opposite to their feline counterparts.

            When I approach my dog her tail wags like mad smacking anything in a way.

No matter what happens, she loves me no matter what.

If she was to write a Christmas card to me, it would probably be addressed ‘to the human I love the most’ and inside it would note how much she loves her family.

There would be mention of a little smell that the dog observed leaving its insides as well as the need to sleep a lot.

Nonetheless, it would be a note filled with love and the need to have her humans near her all the time and how much she misses them when they leave the home.

            This is a complete opposite to what happens next door.

When I approached the bored kitty for a hello, I got a hiss of how dare was I interrupting its slumber.

Then the kitty gave me a cold shoulder after sniffing the disgusting content of the bowl I just filled.

At that point, I pondered what their feline would write to his owner for sure it was going to be something like :-

            ‘Dear human servants, I was most appalled that you left me to fend for myself.

Instead of getting me a top-class service I deserve, you sent in the human from next door, who, by the way stinks of a dog.

She has fed me the pouches I don’t like -and you haven’t instructed her on how to appropriately pet me.

She dared to try to pick me up and I had to educate her on the manner of which I wish to be handled using my claws.

Next time you abandon me, ensure to inform the replacement servant of the requirement of scratching behind the ear only and proceed to the belly only after I decided to roll over.

I also need them to know that the signal of having enough strokes is to give the servants hand a good nip, ensuring that I draw enough blood.

I also require that should I bring home a nice catch that its left where its found!

The servant has removed the rotten mouse I reserved for your return off the sofa – despicable!

It should be obvious that they aren’t appropriate for my care because they have a dog who is incompetent to do the business by herself and requires to be walked.

I understand this is acceptable and request you to correct the mistakes immediately.

As a good humanitarian, I will offer a service to the next door canine and teach it on how to relieve itself without walkies.

I therefore need to inform you that upon you return, I won’t acknowledge you for couple of days as I am mostly unhappy with your behaviour.

Regards, Your Master and centre of the universe, your Cat.’             

            I know what you are thinking – ‘It’s impossible for a cat to write a letter’.

Well, you would change your mind if you were washing the scratched hands at the kitchen sink only to see the tomcat waltz into your garden like a model on a catwalk, enter your flower border and return the breakfast you gave it that morning beside your crocosmia…

J. Karst

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Email – jkarstauthor@gmail.com