No change at my end, I am still closed. As I can’t write much about recycling, I can at least write about whatever pops into my head. Let’s try to have a giggle.

I am sure that your pet loved every single moment of lockdown.

Imagine the thousands of kitties sleeping away on warm laptops whilst their human slaves are working. Imagine the thousands of ravenous pampered dogs laying next to you dreaming.

Their little paws twitching in deep sleep next to their favourite human master. 

   However, I am not sure if the same can be said about our close family members.

I am at the final straw with my father in law. I told him that he shouldn’t be afraid of the virus, but he should be a very, very afraid of me for its not the virus but me that will get him.  

 My blind and deaf father in law got bored during lockdown. Because in his opinion he isn’t deaf nor blind and its only doctors that fuss, he decided to do some gardening.

He took out a chainsaw to cut his 3-meter hedge. He was balancing on a ladder with an electric chainsaw above his head for a whole day. To make things worse he decided not to wear his hearing aid as its pointless to hear when the chainsaw is running at a full power. Thankfully, just by magic, he lives with all his limbs attached.

However, his partner lost her voice when she tried to shout at him that he should come down and stop what he is doing. As she is only deaf, she was able to see how dangerous that activity was.

They only told us many days later what they have done. It was pointless to mention that there is no longer any vegetation above his fence, for he was convinced of performing a perfect job. In his mind he has a perfectly straight neat hedge. It’s pointless trying to tell him to call us when anything needs doing.

I would be more successful in teaching my dog to speak English. I will have a full conversation with my dog before my father in law calls to ask for help.

 To all of you in the same boat, it won’t be long before we can force ourselves inside their homes, to confiscate their DIY equipment and do the work for them. No more of re-cabling their lounge and ending up with an exposed wires death trap – no longer will they become Catherine Zeta-Jones in the Entrapment movie when they are going to make a cup of tea.

Finally, the old folks will be safe again and we won’t need to bathe in Domestos when we approach their doorstep. Hang in there, the end of lockdown is approaching… 

1. Karst 

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Email – jkarstauthor@gmail.com

1. Karst journey in West Berkshire

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