J. Karst Journey through West Berkshire


     ‘Welcome to the new edition of this Guest Blog, I am a full-time working mum of 2 boys and a published novelist of ‘The Ninth Cross’ by my pen name J. Karst. I get involved in trying that little bit I can in saving the environment for the future generations.’

             To my surprise, Christmas decorating is dangerous for everyone, not just me. I told my neighbour about the peril I suffered when I tripped over the metal Christmas tree stand. To make more of an impact I shown him my bruised shin.

            My large scabby bruise didn’t make much of an impact. He rolled up his sleeve, and with words ‘mine’s bigger than yours’ he revealed a huge purple bluish bruise across his arm. ‘When installing the Christmas lights just below the roof, but my arm got stuck between the guttering.’

            I had to admit that he won – his gash was bigger than mine. With grave words he mentioned that its nothing compared to his friend who had a near death experience beside his Christmas tree. Their escapee gerbil had a little munch on the festive lights cable. When investigating why their tree wasn’t lit, he invertedly touched the exposed wire. Thankfully the safety kicked in and he blew the electrics before he succumbed to any serious injuries.

            ‘That’s nothing compared to my previous neighbour.’ Joined us another street resident who heard the story exchange. ‘My father-in-law swallowed a turkey bone and had to be hospitalised!’. At the A&E was a lady who retrieved the turkey directly from the oven with her bare hands. She was waiting to be treated for a third-degree burn. Among all the other Christmas related accidents was a man who fell off a roof when he was installing light up Father Christmas. That man was signing to himself and telling everyone that he was forced to come by his wife who sat beside him.

            With worry in her face, she was discharged with her husband. She held some tablets to help her to sleep whilst her husband walked out of the hospital in a merry haze but before the door closed behind the nurses one mutter to the other ‘thankfully he was so drunk he bounced off that roof like a gummy bear.’

            To sum up all the above, its no surprise that one of very common Christmas presents is a bottle of something alcoholic…

J Karst

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Email – jkarstauthor@gmail.com

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